48ee1e8a0a8f50dce4f8cb9ab418e211_xlIt’s the day before Labor Day: I am headed back to my shabby little hovel; hands buried in my pockets, wondering what the little fuzzy sharp scratchy thing is, unable to separate it from the rebellious seam. Enjoying the walk, wondering what to do with myself.

Appreciating the clear grey sky, the acrid smell of burning leaves. Wait, snow… nobody’s burning leaves. Curiously, like a guy with no plans (largely because I had no plans and I’m a guy)… I follow my nose, craning my neck, wondering where the smell is coming from.

No smoke, but I see the glint of dancing orange devils taunting me from an unusually reflective car window. I look for the source – a small, run-down building, humbly crouched at a self-conscious distance from the street. Before I can process my own actions, I find myself crashing through the front window, tearing at my shoulder; shards of glass ringing like sleigh bells around my feet, cheeks instantly flushed from a solid wall of heat. Ethereally, I am 10′ 4.74″ above my own body (give or take a yard), looking down with somewhat abject interest.

I see them now. Quiet, scared, staring at me hopefully, pessimistically, yet whimsically, and other random, unrelated adverbs ending in -lly.

sealI dive over a stretching, yawning, lazily weaving wall of flames, landing in the best Karate Kid ninja stance ever, admiring my own form; unwavering focus, the way my socks rakishly accesorize with my belt and wallet. I gather the occupants in both arms, wriggling, fighting, not sure they want to be saved.

A group of unborn, orphaned, hygienically-challenged, indigent and starving, illegally immigrated minority baby seals – and I pull them from their burning edifice; mindless of the searing flames that consume me.

Here I lie in traction, tubes a thick, tangled jungle around my hospital bed, hands and legs throbbing; now just kinda gross-looking appendages in white bandages, oozing unfamiliar fluid. Endlessly beeping machines, sucking oxygen, bright lights… and the steely glint of a waiting bedpan, complimenting the room with contemporary brushed stainless in its art deco-esque roundness.

I have no hands, no feet. I try to shout- but my throat is too burned from gulping smoke as I rescued the nervous little splay-legged puppy dogs or seals or endangered Costa Rican penguins or cookie-free girl scouts or whatever they were. (No Do-Si-Dos or Thin Mints for sale; guess I’m going with the puppies.  Yeah, that’s what they were.)

I am currently typing with the one tooth I have left. I also use it as a can opener, a corkscrew, and for zesting citrus fruits to make filling for the tarts I send to starving lost tribes in developing countries each year, along with penicillin, a double-wall insulated french press for that true coffee taste, and licensed copies of TurboTax software (backwards compatible with last year’s operating system; sensitively avoiding straining their WiFi with non-critical upgrades).


And it comes to me: Must. Have. Local coffee shop. And here, folks – here we are. Nervous Dog Coffee Bar is born.


Come by Nervous Dog and enjoy the taste of the freshest, highest quality coffee and espressos in town... roasted locally, twice a week.

Sip a latte or mocha... Ghirardelli chocolate, Torani Italian flavors, or straight up premium espresso, cappuccino or macchiato- the old-fashioned way, crafted to your taste by our expert baristas.

Traditional cow, or try it with soy, almond, coconut milk, sugar free, decaf. Design your own- we're pretty flexible. Yeah, you can pick up your beans here, too.

Local pastries and desserts, savory, snacks; recklessly unrestricted- or gluten-free, kosher, vegan. In brief, 'mmm, food'.


Relax in the warm, friendly pub atmosphere with your date(s), your best friend, your fams, talk to random patrons, or just reflect. Cozy up to the sound of live music most weekend nights.

Enjoy the outdoor patio seating on warmer days; read the paper, a book, the label on your scarf. (Agreed, 'poly blend' sounds redundant; try not to overthink it.)

Chill out for a few. Work on that presentation, meet a colleague, pick up a game of Scrabble, stare at the wall and daydream, sip your coffee and enjoy the local artist of the month's work featured on our walls.

Meet your community. Or just watch that one guy do that one thing, and appreciate his confident sense of self. It's your place- just enjoy it.


Nestle into your favorite spot and enjoy fresh pastries from local bakeries, hot and creamy chocolate cocoa, all-natural fruit smoothies, or a piping hot Harney & Sons tea while you work or play.

Whatever- we're not your mom. But if you use the restroom, it wouldn't kill you to put the seat down when you're done.

Free WiFi, and it's FAST; we didn't actually type this until tomorrow, and it's already published. Power is readily available to keep that 47" laptop or cell phone going when the Energizer Bunny goes down for his nap. So stick around; you're part of the ambiance.

Food & Beverage

All-natural, traditional, unique, top quality; piping hot, iced/blended.

Vegan, omnivorous, kosher, GF, sweet, savory…

We carry ALL the best adjectives (except, perhaps- ‘concise’).


Live music schedule. Plus:

Art, vinyl/open mic/game nights, book clubs, contests, and more.

Good stuff. Check out what’s happening!